Not Accepting Responsibility is Ruining Us

This morning, a particular relationship caught my attention and it got me thinking about marriage and our society in general.

Over the years, marriages in the more affluent countries have struggled.

Divorce rates are at around 50% in the United States and Canada.

Cheating is nothing new and marriage is changing.

Changing to accommodate same-sex marriages.

Some marriages are now open, so that cheating, once deemed the unthinkable marriage sin, is now out in the open.


I say that’s like giving drug addicts clean needles. And Narcan.

If people want to hurt themselves in the pursuit of bliss, should we willingly protect them?

I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking.


It really makes me realize that the lines between right and wrong, good and evil, are so blurred, we don’t even know the truth anymore.

We’ve made all our wrong choices sound like mere inconveniences that are in need of a quick solution.

Not the right time for a pregnancy? There’s abortion.

No longer “in love” with your spouse? There’s divorce.

Not enough money to pay the bills? File bankruptcy.


This is not the end of the list.

I could talk about how our schools are failing our children by not failing them.

Or how we applaud children, who we know have underdeveloped brains, to experiment with various gender identities.


Aren’t we supposed to protect our kids? Why are we trusting them with big, adult decisions?


We cry out in anger when poachers kill pregnant animals and yet we want women to have free choice when it comes to their bodies.

Even unborn animals have protective laws.

No unborn humans?


Polygamy used to be disgusting. And now open marriage makes polygamy seem old-fashioned.


What’s the problem here?

Why are we so unhappy that we’re blurring the lines to remove the responsibility from the results of our decisions?

Isn’t part of growing up learning to own up to our choices?

Aren’t we supposed to be done with playing the victim after we move out on our own?

Hopefully sooner than that.


If you’re going to make a mess, clean that shit up!


The people I see today are consumed with trying to make themselves happier.

Feel better. Live all their dreams. Get all the shit they want.

Live all their dreams.

Get all the shit they want.

Nearly forgetting, losing sight of the fact that, as they pursue all these things that make them “happy,” their own selfishness often has a profound, negative effect on the lives of those around them.


What if…we stopped looking outside us for things that make us happy.


What if we sat with our own unhappiness and discontent and decided to make the best of things.

To own up to the decisions we have made thus far and clean up our messes rather than looking for a quick escape.

To deal with the shit that we have, instead of shoveling it onto the road for someone else to deal with.


I know this is hard to do, especially in a society that tries to pull our attention in a million different directions.

We are left with no time or energy to deal with our own thoughts, feelings, problems…our lives.


Life is made up of the good and the bad.

The messy and the wonderful.

You can’t take the good and push away the bad.


When you signed up for marriage, you chose to say no to everyone else.

Make the best of it. And by “best”, I mean make your marriage so good, everyone around you is jealous.


When you decided to have sex, you chose to take the risk that you might get pregnant.

If you get pregnant, give the baby to someone who has yearned for a baby for the past 40 years.

Make someone else’s dream come true instead of seeking the easy way out.

Did you even consider that giving up 9 months of your life to make someone else’s dream come true might actually give you an even better sense of happiness than can be found in a new phone?


Bad advice: Do what makes YOU happy.


Better advice: Take responsibility for your choices. Instead of playing the victim, remind yourself that you made the choices you did and you’re going to be a grown-up and deal with the consequences.


Sometimes the only choice we have is what kind of attitude we’re going to bring to our lives.

Choose to water your grass instead of envying your neighbour’s yard.


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